Loveless Losers' Journal|
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Loveless Losers' LiveJournal:
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|Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009|
I am 15 years old..
And I want a boyfriend.
I want something to look forward to.
I want to wake up and smile knowing that there is somebody out there that actually gives 2 shits about me.
I'm sitting in math class today and all I can think about is making out with Tarek.
My teacher has a HUGE smile plastered on his face and his name is 'Mr. Tombs' and he's talking about partial variation but I'm not listening at all even though I passed math with a 60%.
I'm thinking about making out with the adorable Tarek in the rain.
He asked me yesterday if I had ever kissed anybody in the rain and of course I HAVENT because I am a loser and all the guys I have ever been with were fucking dipshits.
Thats why I typically like older guys. Not to old but just old enough to have matured a bit and developed some personality.
well I'm out.
Going to play tennis.
|Saturday, June 7th, 2008|
i shouldnt be so worried.
im a teenager, i have time.
if i care about anyone, and they care about me
i immediately run,
i cant handle even fun-short relationships, nor the long-serious ones.
and the happy medium is even harder becasue i dont know what to expect.
im just starting to get scared, because i cant even envision myself with anyone in the future.
ive had 3 boyfriends.
only 1 was serious, and lasted about a year.
the others shouldnt even count.
im starting to hate boys.
because every relationship ive been in has broken me, and the ones i havent been in broke me even more.
i give up, (:
|Wednesday, May 21st, 2008|
How To Date A Babe
Women made simple.
We want you to pick us up, honestly. So here’s a journal on how to get in our pants.
This journal updates on Mondays with new articles on getting laid and common mistakes guys are making that’s keeping them from getting laid.
It’s written by a 20-something woman who is REALLY sick of guys fumbling the ball.
Add me, you know you
want need to.
|Tuesday, February 19th, 2008|
I posted this on my personal journal and nobody replied...
I'm so scared. This isn't normal. I'm 23 almost 24 and I've never kissed or had sex or been in a relationship. I'm terrified. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life!!!!!!!!! I don't even want to be alone when I turn 24. But what can I do? Why won't someone love me???????????
Seriously, don't any of you give a shit? Or do you just read entries like this and think "oh well, not my problem, it's the crazy ranting again"? Or are you just glad you're not me? It's ........this is not fair. God, why couldn't I have just had a normal experience? Why is this happening to me? WHY? WHY do I have to live like this? What is wrong with me, why doesn't someone want me, why is this happening to me, why is this happening to me why is this happening to me why is this happening to me .......This is the truth: Most of my friends on livejournal are happily partnered with someone, and I'm not. I complain about my situation a lot, and they just get resentful because they think I expect them to break up with their SOs just because I'm unhappy. I do NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I AM FORCED TO LIVE THIS WAY. I COULD NOT be more miserable about my situation. GOD, it sucks so much and makes me question myself and everything about me. Am I repulsive? Am I disgusting? Why is this happening to me. Oh god...what am I going to do?
So I've done a little light research into this whole 'Love-Shy' business and it's all really rather upsetting. A plethora of accounts from older people confirming how lonliness has rotted their lives, highlighted links with autism and association with terms like 'involuntary celibacy'.
Worse, the only way to overcome it is to 'just get over it' apparently. My problems are, I'm guessing, related to my parents divorce. It's an old chestnut, I know, but I think the memories of my parents arguing, the seperation whithin the house and the emotional fallout on both my Mother and Father have caused this.
Assuming it's just that I'm just some manner of high functioning AS sufferer. I have eaten the same thing for lunch for the past 4 years. I'm hoping that's not the case though.
Anyway, assuming my divorce hypothesis is right then that's a bit difficult to change. All that malarkey happened when I was 4; it's fundamental to who I am and in spite of the lonliness I really rather like who I am. I'm a nice guy who's never hurt anyone.
All the advice out there, little as there is, revolves around changing yourself. I'm an introvert with a little bit of a problem, that's all. When I was a kid I aped extroverted behaviour to get by in life and it was not a pleasant experience. I'm not going to do that again.
So that's it then I guess. Only, well, I DID have that relationship with that older woman. She did love me. I'm not going to give up yet even if the only happiness I'll ever get is being used as an emotional crutch. Well, I'll not give up today at any rate.
|Thursday, February 14th, 2008|
The Traditional Introduction Post
I'm a lonely guy of 24 years from Birmingham, UK. I had an unhappy adolescence but now that I'm all grown up I've been finding it a lot easier via the unhealthy pursuit of isolation. It's not going to help me find anyone though and I fear that it's only a matter of time before my general state of 'meh' once more gives way to total mental collapse.
Anyway, I wanted to talk about shame. I am grossly ashamed of my past failure with women and my general failure in all things. Whenever I meet anyone new I am conscious that they must never find out the truth about my past, about me. I don't lie to anyone or anything, but it means I've had real trouble developing anything beyond shallow relationships with new people.
I drive into work and look at all these beautiful women lining the streets and think "My God, how marvelous it'd be to be with you" but always then feel terribly depressed at the thought that they'd have to meet me, know me and realise that I'm a weak, ghastly, moron.
Then again sometimes I'll talk to women online (I think the detachment of online communication enables me to not freak out) I always get so turned off by their drama. Not emotional problems mind, I can deal with emotions, but the relentless bad choices... and the never-ending desire to go out and DO things! I love women and I love listening to people's mad lives, but I am a very simple man. I cannot cope with that level of turbulence in my life and it makes me think that between my shame and my obsession for achieving zen-like peace through inertia that I will be alone till the day I die.
Which is, you know, pretty dark really.
As you've probably gathered I'm not always depressed and down. Through a combination of conditioning and cutting anxieties out of my life I've managed to be pretty stable, but I am aware that these measures block the way I want to live my life. Also I still do get down sometimes, particularly when I've missed some sleep.
Well enough babbling. Pleasure to meet you all. Current Mood: energetic
|Thursday, February 7th, 2008|
I totally agree with what some people are saying.
K so I am only 17, and I obvouisly do not knoe what real love is and what knot, but about a good chunk of my close friends have boyfriends/girlfriends, and i am the odd one out, Like im always the 3rd wheel, or 5th wheel ETC.
Like, I feel like a loser sometimes, but than I just shake it off and be proud of being single and cute and just go around raondomly talking to guys, but I feel sad cuz like I wanna be loved, I wanna have a boyfriend, someone who will wanna be ther for me and hold me hand and all those good things that comes along with "not being single anymore package" lol.
It sucks, cuz you look at ur friends and think, well Im prettier than they are, why do they have the "love of their life" and I dont, I defintly think that lol, but its all good. I do hope mr.right is somewhere near, hopefully sooner rather than later.
Single is fun for a while,but blah it sucks like more than half the time!!!!!!!! not kool at all.
Just had to rant lol. :D Current Mood: crazy
|Wednesday, February 6th, 2008|
Hello from a new member
Nice to meet everyone. I'm a loveless loser also.
In all honesty, I don't think there's a reason for it, other than I'm not very social and I just haven't met the right person. I'm kind of a geek. I like Comic Books, Costuming, SciFi and Fantasy, as well as reading, writing, theatre, music, art, opera, ballet etc. I like to think I'm of above average intelligence, and I'm fairly well educated. I'm not a beauty, but I'm not unattractive either.
I just haven't made it work in the romance department. I just turned 29, and I frequently feel that everyone else who's dating/getting married or looking to do so is younger than me, or looking for someone younger than me. I have a tendency to either develop an interest in people who are unobtainable, or attract the interest of people I want nothing to do with. I'm also bisexual, which frequently does more harm than good, because I tend to attract people who are just looking for a threesome. It's not that I have a problem with the threesome, it's the assumption that because I'm bi, therefore I do couples and the lack of interest in me for any other reason that I object to.
I had a boyfriend for a few months in high school, have had the odd date here and there, and have had two fairly serious online relationships that never panned out in real life, but that's about it.( Cut for more personal informationCollapse )
Anyway, that's me. It's nice to meet you all. Current Mood: blah
|Sunday, February 3rd, 2008|
Online Matching Sites...
Has anyone here tried sites like eHarmony.com or any other dating/matching site? I've been on eHarmony.com since November and I have been having amazing success with it. I have finally been able to find guys that appreciate me for who I am, aren't mental cases, and who I actually want to be with. I haven't started exclusively seeing anyone quite yet because, despite the fact that I have been a loveless loser for some time, I don't want to jump into something too quickly. So at least try it if you seriously want to pick yourself up from this funk and try to find someone for you. There's hundreds of millions of people on this earth and I have always refused to believe that there's absolutely no one on earth for me, so if you don't want to keep being a loveless loser, you can try something like this.
|Saturday, October 20th, 2007|
My inferior physical appearance is preventing me from socializing. I'm depressed. My head is so much bigger than every one elses and I'm only 5'6" tall, way below the average male height in Australia. I hate it when I hear people telling me it's all about confidence.. I don't think confidence would work with my case coz I think if you look freaky and you treat yourself like a bigdeal in front of others it would be more of a turn-off than just being wallflower. I want reincarnation. I don't want to live any longer. but you know what? even if, say reincarnation really works, there's a huge risk that in my next life I might land on some economically ruined countries or some Asian countries where the majority of the populations look like me.. as countries like this usually have the highest birth rates.( how big is my head? see a photo of me with my ESL teacherCollapse )
|Saturday, September 22nd, 2007|
So how many of you feel that you tend to ruin yr relationships with a sigfigant other due to your depression.. ?
being to sad, being to jealous, over thinking shit.. I think i have ruined a lot of relationships this way although a few have loved me enough (at least for a little while longer) to stick with me, yet they all wound up ending in tears.. with me being left alone..with me and my problems and me blaming myself for its demise...
I don't want to ruin things anymore..and that is never my intentions.. i don't set out to be moody and shit when im around someone but it happens because its difficult and i don't know whats going on.. i swear if i knew that i was the one i would be a lot more content, yet someone doesn't seem to understand that.. when someone tells you that you are too sad all the time and that you act crazy.. that only makes it worse for me.. and what do you do to save it.. i try really hard not to fuck shit up.. i try to be happy all the time to the best of my ability .. i love someone a lot and i just don't know what to do.. because things and situations are hard to deal with at the moment and that is also why i act the way i do..... its not easy at all.. .. i just wanted to know what you do... or how you feel about depression and relationships..
|Thursday, September 13th, 2007|
Question for the group:
Heya. I was really glad to find this group about a year or two ago. I seriously was a "loveless loser," and had been for most of my life.
I've been wondering if people here, when something good happens or something changes, can or should post here to the encouragement of others? Or would such stories be more depressing? Or could they perhaps be filtered? I just have a lot of sympathy for anyone who feels like I did, plus I know that it could happen to me again.
A lot of people never understand others like "us;" I never felt my friends and people who bounced from relationship to relationship (which seemed the "normal" thing) understood what it was like to be someone who had NEVER had a relationship.
So anyway...if posting would give hope or encouragement, I'd like to do it; but if it would be more unwelcome and intrusive instead, then of course, I'd rather respect the sentiment of this group, that helped me realize I was not alone. What do people think?
|Saturday, June 23rd, 2007|
What do guys like to talk about?
Ok, I'm pretty sure I'm a loveless loser because of one thing: I can't make small talk. I do like to have deep conversations and arguments about politics (not that I know much about politics, but that's beside the point) and all the rest of it, but to get to that point with someone, you kind of have to talk to them about the little stuff first, right? But what exactly am I supposed to say? "Nice weather, eh?" That's about the time guys think you're boring and start ignoring you forever. Believe me, I've tried to start conversations with guys before about school or summer plans or whatever and they end up giving me the "I'm bored to death by your inane chatter" look or the "why the heck are you even talking to me anyway?" look. What do guys like to talk about? Ugh, someone please help me here.
|Friday, June 22nd, 2007|
New to L_J and This is My 2-week Curse...
I'm very new to L_J but when I saw this community, I just had to join and say something.
I'm a 23 yr old female that's single and I have no idea why! People sometimes tell me that I could be a model and that it should be easy for someone like me to find someone and that drives me up the wall! This all has led me to be extremely critical of myself where everything I do is "wrong, that's why I don't have a boyfriend." And of course everyone has a different opinion about why I'm single and they are more than willing to tell me things like "you don't smile enough," "you're too picky," "you look too high maintenance," etc... And you know its bad when you go out shopping with your dad and he starts pointing out all the good-looking guys that you should make eye-contact with!
As for dating, I have been on some dates, and sometimes they seem promising, but then the "2 Week Curse" happens. That is a term my friends and family use to describe my love-life. It means that after dating a guy for 2 weeks, he stops calling, disappears, goes back to his ex, finds a new girl, starts studying for the Bar exam, moves to a different hemisphere, you name it! People tell me that those guys were jerks and that its not my fault, but is it really?
I have examined myself as a person a lot, but I'm very happy with ME. I'm not a bitch, as I am very laid-back and never jealous. I am not one of those girls that have to be constantly in the spotlight and, as a matter of fact, I'm a very giving person. I don't dress like a slut, but I take a lot of pride in my appearance. I am a prim and proper kind of girl so I know its not like I have some gross or rude habits that are scaring guys away.
I do know that part of my problem is just not being able to meet guys. I'm not into the club scene because I find it incredibly superficial and how can you talk to anyone to get to know them with all that loud music? Plus I don't want to be around drunk people and all their drama. They tell me that I should go to places where other people who share my interests hang out, but usually guys who like the same things I do tend to be gay....
The most frustrating thing is hearing the horror stories guys have with their girlfriends and I can't believe that some psycho girl can be in a long-term relationship while I can't even remember the last time a guy gave me his number. Am I really doing something wrong? Is it me? I jokingly tell friends that I might as well start preparing to be some crazy cat-lady and begin hording cats and name them after the guys I dated. I just hope it doesn't come true! Current Mood: lethargic
|Thursday, May 31st, 2007|
My own sordid story...
Oh thank God I'm not alone in all this, haha. I'm only 16 years old, so I guess I have some time to find love, but the way my friends act (they've all been boy-crazy ever since... well, they've always been boy-crazy) I just always feel like a loser. Zero guys have shown any interest in me... until this year, when this one guy started randomly talking to me and he actually seemed to like me. Later, I found out from my friend he was actually thinking of asking me out at some point, but she told him NOT to because she didn't think I'd say yes. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have. I have some social anxiety issues (even though I don't think I have the disorder, exactly) and dating to me sounds positively terrifying, not the fun merry-go-round of laughter my friends make it out to be (until the break-up comes, of course). Still, now he never even talks to me, which is a shame because even if we weren't going out, I still would've liked to be friends. *sigh* Being a loveless loser in high school really, really sucks.
So yeah... just thought I'd share.
|Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007|
The real first post
Ok, I want to be honest with you guys, I'm a transplant from the website kuro5hin.org. The first post was actually not done by me, it was done by a guy from K5 called livus, he set this livejournal account up for me to use. He actually took a post from a previous entry I did on that site and reposted it here. I wasn't really familiar with how livejournal was set up or even if someone would notice my posts, so I was reluctant to start it myself. I'm new to livejournal so I haven't really gotten used to it.
I'd like to introduce myself and give you some background on who I am and what I want out of livejournal. I graduated from college 2 years ago and have a good well paying job, I'm attractive and tall, but I'm still a virgin. I'm shy and sometimes don't say anything, socializing is difficult for me. I'm almost 25 and I've never kissed a girl and I'm kind of freaking out about it occasionally. I think to myself I'm never going to find someone
or Nobody really likes me.
I'm in cognitive behavioral therapy now. I'm even going to try group therapy soon.
On the Kuro5hin site I usually posted events about my life, how I was feeling, etc.. but sometimes I'd exaggerate details to make it more interesting. I imagine I'll do the same here, but with a bigger audience. I'm looking to see what peoples reactions to me are.
|Thursday, April 12th, 2007|
does anybody else have suicidal thoughts?
|Friday, November 10th, 2006|
Okay, tell me if this sounds crazy to you... I sign up on a dating website and I'm searching through the links who local women who might be interesting. I come some profiles, click on them and what do I see? THEY'RE BLANK. WTF? I mean, why the hell does someone even bother to register with a site like that if they're not going to fill anything out. And how am I supposed to email them and talk about something? Do I go, "Hey, like you profile, love how you uh... oh wait.. come to think of it... what the hell DO you like to do?"
Then there's other times when I'll post to certain groups for people who have trouble dating. Just recently this one women wrote a letter saying she's "Given up on men" that they just don't give her a chance, she's tired of them ignoring her, all the think of is sex, blah, blah, blah.
Well, gosh, maybe I should look at her profile, offer any humble advice I might be able to give... and what do I see? It's BLANK! Granted, it was a yahoo public profile, but still...
I don't know, maybe it's not just women who does this I mean, I don't exactly sure the male profiles on the dating site, but still, regardless of sex, I think it's stupid to complain about your love life when you're not putting forth any effort.
Me, I'm on plentyoffish, okcupid, and yahoo personals (and got a yahoo profile) for going on six months now, and still no emails, but, I keep pressing on...
Anyway, just need to do a mini-rant there...
|Saturday, September 9th, 2006|
I'm 23 and I have never had a boyfriend, I mean I've gone on a couple of dates, but I've never had an anniversary, got a gift from a man, had a date to a dance or even been bought a gift by a man. I've given up on ever finding it.
|Wednesday, April 26th, 2006|
On my way out....
I´m making this post just to anounce to everyone that I´m leaving the community.
Not that I have found someone...far from it.....but I really must be honest with myself and in looking in my mind and considering my feelings I must come to the realization that I really don´t care anymore if I find someone or not.
I have not been able to find a girl that likes me in the 24 years of my life, I have come to the realization that this is due to features of my personality that don´t lend themselfs to this. All the attempts that I have made to find someone involved to one degree or another changing myself or lying to myself about my opinions and likings, I think this is not worth it, what´s the point of lying to yourself to get someone? To keep up a charade and try to maintain a relationship?...not for me.
In honesty I have come to a point in my life were I have embraced the fact that if I find someone by accident i´ll be happy with it but I´m past the point of worrying about it or activelly seaching it out.
therefore I think I have nothing more to gain from this community or it from me.
Good luck with everything for all you people.